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Chris Hargreaves

Student of Life

Achievement

Dependent, Independent, Dependable

October 18, 2020 by Chris Hargreaves

As infants, we mew and cry, wave our arms and make it abundantly clear that we are utterly dependent on our carers. This is as it should be since, after all, it is true.

As we grow we start to assert our independence. We want to do only we what have chosen to do, do it our way, and in our own time.

Of course, not everyone even makes it that far.

Despite the semblance of independence, many remain just as dependent as the infants they used to be. Dependent on parents, lovers, bosses, government and more. Sure, they might dress well and sound the part, but if you read their Facebook comments, complaints and laments it becomes quite clear that they are still just mewing and crying, waving their arms and waiting for others to solve the problems of the world. The wait for handouts in the form of money, work, opportunity, validation and more.

Others manage to climb out of that type of dependence but get stuck at independence. To read the many self-help novels that stack our digital shelves you’d be forgiven for believing that independence is the ultimate goal – that working on myself until I reach the pinnacle of success is the best that life has to offer.

It’s true, of course, that improvement is an important part of our maturity. Getting better, stronger, smarter, more informed, articulate and spiritually aware today than we were yesterday is an essential and meaningful activity of any normally functioning adult who desires a modicum of satisfaction.

But independence has its limits – after all, independence is only ever about ourselves. It’s about my goals, my life, my money, my brain, my achievement, my job. An over-the-top focus on ourselves, our own needs and our own success is usually a good ticket to a crisis.

Truly, a focus solely on independence isn’t the highest and best use of our gifts and talents.

Instead, we receive so that we can give. Our striving and success, our achievement and talent, our work and our reward are ours so that we can give to others. We master our craft not only because it is fulfilling in itself but also because it allows us to commit to more next time. We strive for excellence not just because that is right but because

With these things, we know that we can be depended upon. We can say “yes I can help with that” more often, knowing that we can. We have integrity and commitment, energy and the power to deliver on our promises. We say what we mean and we do what we say.

We start utterly dependent, needing others for everything.

We climb to independence, largely able to function for ourselves.

But our goal is to be dependable, not just functioning for ourselves but for others too.

So which are you?

Filed Under: Achievement

Always Do the Optional Run

August 18, 2020 by Chris Hargreaves

Despite my body mass index measuring close to the single digits, I sometimes engage in a bit of cardio.

A while back I was testing out different forms of digital running “coach” to see whether they were any good (spoiler alert: they were OK, but not great).

One of them would regularly have a run of X minutes/kms, followed by an “optional” run of about the same again.

So here’s my question: would you do the optional run, or would you stick with the essentials only?

One decision, made consistently over time, can make the difference between the ordinary and the extraordinary in our life.

Filed Under: Achievement, Body

Did We Get Too Smart for Self Discipline?

August 13, 2020 by Chris Hargreaves

Not too long ago, self-discipline was the primary driver behind achievement. Knuckle down, work hard, see results.

And then we got smart.

We started talking about habits, neuro-plasticity and the science of behaviour – all great concepts and tools for self-development.

But as we explore these excellent tools, we can start to think that self-discipline isn’t relevant anymore – it’s somehow been replaced by a series of smarter, more modern life hacks that are easier to execute.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

Filed Under: Achievement

Have you Learned to Think?

August 12, 2020 by Chris Hargreaves

What a silly question, right?

I mean, who doesn’t know how to think? And can you actually learn to think, or is it just something that you’ve either got or you don’t?

I don’t know the answer to the last question, but I can help with the second one by a simple exercise.

It looks like this: why do you do, what you do?

Why do you spend money on X, and not on Y? Why do you exercise, or not? Why you speak in this way, or that way? Why do you react a particular way to a particular thing?

Are these behaviours, actions, statements and thought patterns the result of a conscious decision by you? Or do they just kind of happen?

So have you learned to think?

Or are you operating on autopilot, the simple accumulation of your life to date?

Filed Under: Achievement

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